The availability of money is very important in marriage because it provides the necessities and the essentials of life. Money provides for those things that give comfort.
As important as money is however, it is one of the most common causes of conflict in marriage and divorce. There are many attitudes or habits with money that can make or mar a relationship.
These include:
Lack of Transparency:
The lack of openness, between couples in financial matters breeds suspicion and ill-feelings. Couples in marriage are expected to be naked before each other and the nakedness implies that a partner should reveal to the other every detail of his finances. A partner should make known to the other the full details of his pay packet, assets, liabilities and obligations, wants, needs and plans.
Openness builds trust and promotes friendship and intimacy. It amounts to selfishness and self-centeredness when a partner is secretive in financial matters.
The way forward is for the couple to talk about their finances, hiding nothing from each other.
Lack of Adequate Provision:
It is the duty of the man/husband to provide for the needs of the family. The failure to fulfill this essential responsibility will cause disaffection and trouble in the home. Among the many factors that make a man a real man is his ability to meet the financial needs of the family in terms of feeding, shelter, education, health etc.
Inadequate Attention to the spouse:
Indiscriminate pursuit of money to meet family financial obligations can disconnect a husband (the usual bread winner) from his wife. The wife needs the money but also needs the man as well. So it is not enough to provide her financial needs while neglecting her emotional needs.
Purchasing items that are not really needed, buying on impulse, living above one’s income, trying to live like the Jones, often leads to debts and bankruptcy which will do more harm than good to the marriage.
Dependent Attitude:
This occurs where a partner sees the other as his/her source of supply or provision, depending wholly on him for sustenance and not doing anything productive to support.
Wives, especially the housewives or sit-at-home mums should endeavor to engage themselves in some productive activity, no matter how little, to be able to have a financial means and to be in a position to contribute, when necessary to do so.
From the above, it can be seen that marriage is a relationship that must be worked upon through definite and conscious efforts if the couple want a successful marriage. Good marriages do not just happen.
Ayodele Adegbulugbe
www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com
Lagos, Nigeria
2348035978352
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