TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION DURING COURTSHIP (1)

This article looks into some of the topics that should be discussed in a Christian courtship preparatory to laying a solid foundation for a successful marriage guided by biblical principles.

Many people across the world, Christians inclusive, have a distorted opinion about courtship which has a negative impact on marital stability. Any Christian courtship conducted outside biblical principles is sowing seeds for future marital distress.

In the context of this article, a Christian is described as a person who has surrendered the totality of his life to the leadership of the Lord Jesus Christ.

He has accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior, and the Bible as final authority in all matters. He is determined to abide by all biblical instructions whether convenient or inconvenient.

A Christian courtship is the period that a Christian brother and sister with a view to marry based on conviction, start a relationship for the purpose of knowing and understanding themselves better.

The process of understanding each other comes by diligent study, discussions and careful observation. These days, many people including Christians enter into courtship in a careless manner without knowing how to conduct themselves in it to glorify God in it.

The wrong things many people do in Christian courtship either out of ignorance or outright disobedience to biblical authority include:

Having sexual intercourse which amounts to sin. Sex during courtship creates a false bond which makes one partner to be blind to the faults and weaknesses of the other.

Pecking, kissing, caressing and fondling each other (appearances of evil).

Meeting at odd hours in dark and lonely places, behind closed doors.

Inviting third parties to settle their misunderstanding.

Living together as live-in-lovers, cooking for the man and washing his clothes

Wearing the same type of clothing and addressing each other as 'wife' and 'husband'. The courtship is ,a fiance/fiancee affair and not yet a marriage.

Not having truthful discussions about past personal experiences (contrary to the biblical principle of nakedness)

Failing to discuss the necessary ingredients that lays a solid foundation for the marriage which is the future of the courtship

Planning elaborately for the wedding which is a one day ceremony while failing to plan for the marriage which is a lifetime affair.

In conclusion, a successful Christian courtship that will translate to a successful marriage which will stand the test of time and overcome the storms in marriage must be based on biblical guidelines (Matthew 7:24-27).

Ayodele Adegbulugbe
https://selar.co/l341

www.xtianrace.blogspot.com.ng

Lagos, Nigeria.
Phone:+2348035978352

TOPICS TO DISCUSS DURING A CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP (2)

Many Christian bachelors and spinsters are careless and foolish who spend their courtship on worthless activities then end up in marriage complaining of incompatibility later and filing papers for divorce.

The topics for discussion by partners in a Christian courtship include:

1) The Partners' Salvation Experiences

-the date and circumstances leading to conversion

-church involvement and work in the vineyard

-if Holy Ghost Baptism been received

-if water baptism by immersion been done

-sanctification experiences if any

-the partners' present stand in Christ

-are they still in the faith or backsliding

-do they accept the Bible as their final authority and willing to abide by it, etc.

2) The Partners' Christian beliefs:

- What are their beliefs about the tenets of the true Christian faith: Holy Spirit, Deity of Christ, Resurrection, Rapture, Heaven, Hell, Blood of Jesus, Holiness and Righteousness, Divine Healing, Gifts and fruits of the Spirit, Sanctification etc.?

-What are their beliefs about wearing clothing pertaining to the opposite sex(Deuteronomy 22:5), the covering of hair, use of jewels and wedding rings (Isaiah 3:16-24), use of candles and rosary, use of water and anointing oil, women leadership in the church, divorce, role of money, use of alcohol, prosperity (1 Timothy 6:5), use of wigs and cosmetics etc.?

3) Past Sexual Life:

-What are their beliefs about sex? Are they willing to abide by biblical perspectives concerning sex especially 1 Corinthians 7: 1-5?

-Have they had sex in the past before or after conversion?

-Were there any pregnancies, abortions or children born in the past?

-What is the status of the past relationships? Have they been broken?

-Did they contact any sexual transmitted diseases and have they been cured?

4) Planning the Wedding:

-What is the type of wedding to hold: church, registry or traditional wedding or all three?

- What is the proposed date of the wedding?

-Will it be an elaborate or a low key wedding?

- How will the wedding be financed?

-Where to go for pre-marital counseling?

5) Planning the Marriage:

-What are the partners' views concerning joint accounts?

-What are the partners' opinions about the level of relationship with the extended family?

-How many children to have and the spacing?

-How to resolve disputes during marriage

-How to set up a family altar in the marriage, for regular prayers and bible study

6) Personals:

-hobbies and other interests

-visions for the future and how to accomplish them

- blood group and genotype

-health history (any periodic or terminal diseases in the family)

-any weaknesses, fears and phobia

In conclusion, it can be seen that marriage is work and responsibility and not to be treated with levity. The partners in courtship must endeavor to avoid pursuing shadows while leaving out the real substance.

Courtship is facing reality, not fantasizing as many do to their peril. To pursue shadows in courtship is to sow seeds for future distress and regret.

To be updated.

Ayodele Adegbulugbe.
www.xtianrace.blogspot.com.ng.
Lagos Nigeria
Phone:+2348035978352