Many Christian bachelors and spinsters are careless and foolish who spend their courtship on worthless activities then end up in marriage complaining of incompatibility later and filing papers for divorce.
The topics for discussion by partners in a Christian courtship include:
1) The Partners' Salvation Experiences
-the date and circumstances leading to conversion
-church involvement and work in the vineyard
-if Holy Ghost Baptism been received
-if water baptism by immersion been done
-sanctification experiences if any
-the partners' present stand in Christ
-are they still in the faith or backsliding
-do they accept the Bible as their final authority and willing to abide by it, etc.
2) The Partners' Christian beliefs:
- What are their beliefs about the tenets of the true Christian faith: Holy Spirit, Deity of Christ, Resurrection, Rapture, Heaven, Hell, Blood of Jesus, Holiness and Righteousness, Divine Healing, Gifts and fruits of the Spirit, Sanctification etc.?
-What are their beliefs about wearing clothing pertaining to the opposite sex(Deuteronomy 22:5), the covering of hair, use of jewels and wedding rings (Isaiah 3:16-24), use of candles and rosary, use of water and anointing oil, women leadership in the church, divorce, role of money, use of alcohol, prosperity (1 Timothy 6:5), use of wigs and cosmetics etc.?
3) Past Sexual Life:
-What are their beliefs about sex? Are they willing to abide by biblical perspectives concerning sex especially 1 Corinthians 7: 1-5?
-Have they had sex in the past before or after conversion?
-Were there any pregnancies, abortions or children born in the past?
-What is the status of the past relationships? Have they been broken?
-Did they contact any sexual transmitted diseases and have they been cured?
4) Planning the Wedding:
-What is the type of wedding to hold: church, registry or traditional wedding or all three?
- What is the proposed date of the wedding?
-Will it be an elaborate or a low key wedding?
- How will the wedding be financed?
-Where to go for pre-marital counseling?
5) Planning the Marriage:
-What are the partners' views concerning joint accounts?
-What are the partners' opinions about the level of relationship with the extended family?
-How many children to have and the spacing?
-How to resolve disputes during marriage
-How to set up a family altar in the marriage, for regular prayers and bible study
6) Personals:
-hobbies and other interests
-visions for the future and how to accomplish them
- blood group and genotype
-health history (any periodic or terminal diseases in the family)
-any weaknesses, fears and phobia
In conclusion, it can be seen that marriage is work and responsibility and not to be treated with levity. The partners in courtship must endeavor to avoid pursuing shadows while leaving out the real substance.
Courtship is facing reality, not fantasizing as many do to their peril. To pursue shadows in courtship is to sow seeds for future distress and regret.
To be updated.
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